The Story Concludes…
Harrison gave a universal nod to signal the server we were ready for our check. He insisted we go directly to his place for a night of drinks, dress-up and, well you can use your imagination for the rest.
“We planned to check out a few clubs on Chapel Street tonight. After all, it’s our only Saturday night to go out in Melbourne” Miss Intellect politely reminded him. “No, no, no we’re going to my place! I’m not going out! You two will come over, we’ll have some fun and then you girls can go out after.” Harrison demanded. I interjected sarcastically, “Umm, yeah I don’t think so…? We’re not going to your house, have an orgy and then go back out to a club. That’s not happening!” Then Duke chimed in, “Let’s just have a drink at Harrison’s place and then we can all go out.” “We all know what’s going to happen once we get to Harrison’s place. We want to go out first!” said Miss Intellect. They weren’t going for it so I replied in a calm yet authoritative tone, “YOU TWO CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, BUT SHE AND I ARE GOING OUT! IT’S OUR ONLY SATURDAY NIGHT IN MELBOURNE. WE’RE NOT COMING OVER, WE’RE NOT HAVING AN ORGY, WE’RE GOING OUT!” Maybe the tone was more assertive than I lead you to believe because we were all surprised what happened next.
With scowled brow, Harrison relinquished the grip on his espresso martini for the first time all evening as he jolted from his seat. He threw his napkin on the table and ripped his blazer from the chair and announced “I’m leaving!“
Harrison was something of a man about town and all eyes were now on our table. I felt icy stares then soft whispers from the surrounding tables and wait staff. As promised, Harrison stormed off although I doubt he went home. I imagine he went out trolling for women to nurse his wounded ego. I watched intently to see how Duke, Harrison’s ever faithful follower, would react. For a moment, we three sat dumbfounded…mouths open slouched in our chairs. Duke spoke first, “I’ve never seen him like this, he’s really upset. Let’s go to his place for a little bit and then you girls can go out.” “NO!” We said in unison.
Like a lost puppy, Duke followed Miss Intellect and I several blocks to a local favorite named Two Wrongs (how fitting) for a drink. Like a good dog, Duke fetched our drinks while Miss Intellect and I situated ourselves on a cozy love seat leaving a small awkward foot stool for Duke to perch upon.
Duke returned with drinks and sat awkwardly upon his designated stool as instructed and proudly announced, “It’s ok girls, I’m still here!” (Guy Code for let’s have a threesome). After several moments, he popped up and in a swift yet clumbsy motion forcefully wedged himself between us on the love seat made for two. Duke now laid it on thick with Miss Intellect. I guess he thought this was his in. Once again, with his best pouty face, Duke pleaded “Harrison’s really upset. Let’s just go to his place for one drink.” With that, Miss Intellect yawned (Girl Code for let’s act tired and get rid of this loser). And so we did.
Our hotel was conveniently located just above Two Wrongs. Duke walked us to the lobby all the time begging for scraps like a dog at the kitchen table. “Let me come up, just for a few minutes, the three of us can cuddle in bed!” We scolded and shooed him away like the bad dog that he was. “Gooooooooodnight!” we sung as the elevator doors closed in his face.
While we didn’t actually make it out to a club that night, we did empty the mini bar and laughed the night away in our hotel room – compliments of Duke. We spent our only Saturday night in Melbourne sitting on the floor of our hotel room drinking and giggling. We did our nails, facials and recanted the evening’s hysterical events. We found it amusing because once we uncovered their ulterior motives, we decided to play along taunting and teasing them. I guess it was our wicked since of humor. We felt a little payback was in order for luring us to dinner and another continent, for that matter, under false pretenses.
Editors Note: Although we never saw Duke again, he continued to contact us during our time in Melbourne and continues to do so to this day. Duke and Harrison were in Los Angeles staying at the Mondrian home to SkyBar when HARRISON GLENDALE & CO – PART ONE was published. They even invited us to a pool party. Need I say…we graciously declined. Mr. Variety continues to reach out to Miss Intellect to attempt to set her up with friends visiting Los Angeles. Oh, did I mention, they read the blog…?
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