It was actually three little boys under the age of 10 that inspired me to write this. I was laying out by the pool on a warm winter day in LA. Out of the sky fell a dozen perfect white roses. I turned around and there behind the pool house stood three little boys giggling and waving at me. “Ma’am those roses are for you!” one shouted. I smiled, blew them a kiss and returned to my sunbathing. Several minutes later they cautiously approached with a dozen more roses in hand. One by one they introduced themselves and asked if they could take a picture with me. “Sure!” I said, but I wondered, is that weird? After all, there I was in a thong bikini glistening in suntan oil. “Fuckboys in Training” I laughed to myself. I’m sure I’ll be getting a confused phone call from their mothers any day now.
My short encounter with the boys got me to thinking. While some little girls act all grown up, some grown women are nothing more than little girls. You know the ones I’m talking about – they’re usually beautiful and fit, over the age of 25. Many of them even have a real job and live on their own place, but don’t let that fool you. That’s what makes them so tricky to spot.
Still not sure if she’s a Girl Not a Woman…? Here are 10 warning signs:
She doesn’t make solid plans with you. Things are always left up in the air. Some of her favorite phrases are: maybe, I’m not sure, sometime, we’ll see, later, I don’t know, etc.
She ONLY takes pictures with snapchat filters. Everyone loves a good Snapchat filter, but c’mon you just want to see her pretty face…you know, without cat ears.
She should be in a 12 step program for emoji abuse. She can’t just send you a “Good Morning!” text, she feels the need to throw in 12 emojis for good measure.
She trys to turn things around on you to avoid expressing her true feelings. She makes excuses rather than owning up to her faults.
She won’t talk to you on the phone, she only wants to text. When you call her, she texts you right back to say…”I don’t feel like talking, let’s text”.
She makes demands not requests.
When the check comes on your first date, she doesn’t even give a “pretend reach” for it. You know you’re paying, she knows you’re paying, but she could offer.
She says she’ll call or text you later, but conveniently forgets or says she “fell asleep”. She doesn’t forget just once and you don’t know anyone who sleeps as much as she does.
She makes the mistake of thinking you’re one of her girls rather than her beau. She talks to you about things like getting her nails done, tells you all the latest gossip about her friends and co-workers that you’ve never met and asks you questions like “Am I getting fat?”.
She lies about her age, relationship status and/or living situation. If that’s not pathetic enough, she thinks you’re dumb enough to believe her.
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